Finding the Off-Ramp From Runaway Thoughts (DBT Micro-Season — Mindfulness Part 1)
in this very special episode of Friendless, we're kicking off the DBT micro-season with Mindfulness Part 1, and no — this is not the sit-cross-legged-and-think-about-nothing version. This is practical mindfulness. The kind that gives you an off-ramp when your brain is catastrophising about a blank document or a text that went unanswered.
Today we're covering the three "What" skills: Observe, Describe, and Participate. These are the foundation everything else builds on. They're deceptively simple, which doesn't mean they're easy — but they're the tools that let you notice when you're time-traveling into worst-case scenarios and choose to come back to the present.
What You'll Learn
Observe — How to notice what's happening without trying to change it, fix it, or make it go away. Just acknowledging "my heart is racing" or "I'm having anxious thoughts" without layering judgment on top.
Describe — How to put words to what you're observing. The difference between "I'm failing" and "I'm having the thought that I'm failing." Words create distance. Distance gives you options.
Participate — How to give your full attention to what you're doing right now instead of being on autopilot. Not every second of every day — just having the ability to come back when you notice you've drifted.
In This Episode
- Why mindfulness gets a bad rap (and why DBT mindfulness is different)
- The spiral I had preparing to write this very script — and how my brain turned a blank document into proof I should quit everything
- How observing my anxiety about an unanswered text gave me just enough space to not make it worse
- That time I drove to Main Street without music or podcasts and actually noticed the road (it felt longer than driving across Canada)
- A short guided practice for trying Observe, Describe, Participate in under two minutes
- Why the thoughts don't disappear — and why that's okay
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